So here we go–setting out to start this adventure of writing about fatherhood of three little squeaks. Part of this journey, I suspect, is a means to get all these emotions out in the open, perhaps to prevent the inevitable Kid-Life Crisis, a phrase I coined just recently that means just what it sounds like.
A mid-life crisis is easy: blow a bunch of cash you don’t have on something that will likely kill you or cast you as the star of an episode of Cops. Frankly, I’m looking forward to mine, and have already begun stocking up on hair dye, flare guns and dental gauze.
A kid-life crisis is a little trickier, though. It’s not something you can just snap out of, because the kids aren’t going away anytime soon (we hope). Some parents respond by gradually losing hair (or gradually pulling hairs out). Some suddenly find excitement in yard work (I am convinced this is the start of a pandemic). Others find that their brains develop an internal ringing audible to drown out the incessant playing of songs about tea pots and yellow busses. In other words, if you’re a parent of a young child or children, it would be wise to mind the early warning signs of KLC:
- Do all your stories begin with: Let me tell you what the (fill in the age)-year-old put his hands into the other day?
- Do your core group of friends all have kids the same age as your kid(s)?
- Do you physically struggle to get out a swear word?
- Does 8 p.m. feel late to you?
- Have you ever watched an episode of Yo Gabba Gabba and thought, Hey…this isn’t so bad?
- Have you literally shaken your finger at someone?
If the answer to any of these is yes, you may be suffering from KLC. And I know what you’re thinking: “But Phil…I don’t have any kids!” Ahhhh, that’s how they get you–with delusion. Look under blankets. Kids love hiding under blankets. Their second favorite hiding place is covering their eyes which, when a parent really wants a break, works surprisingly well.
In the meantime, welcome to the blog! Read the introduction about my family and me and be sure to check back often. Jump into the dadness head first, I say. Let’s ride the insanity together!